Saturday, April 24, 2010

True Story

My father is completely out of his mind. Not just the way I say my mom is crazy when she's being annoying; he's that delusional, paranoid, never going to get better because he's lost in his own mind kind of crazy. For the longest time I denied this was possible. I've been angry with him because I felt like he did it to himself by using grody drugs when I was in highschool, like somehow he fried his brain. And I've always been sick of hearing about the trouble he goes through. His "woe is me" attitude and his complete lack of motivation I've always felt has been something he chose for himself. No matter how much shit I've gone through in my own life I choose to suck it up, walk it the fuck off, and just BE HAPPY.

Untill now, when he's in the hospital for his mind, submitting his brain to shock therapy, I realize that this is really something he can't control. I've tried so hard to cheer him up and fix his tortured soul, but i'm convinced it's impossible. I feel horrible for being so angry with him the way I've always been, and being embarrased to tell my friends about it.

It gives me a whole new appreciation for having such a sound mind, and not letting the little things in life get me down. True Story: my father is crazy, and I am not, but I love him anyway.

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